Category Archives: Love

प्रेम एउटा कोलाज

suresh_dhakal

Suresh Dhakal

आज मेरो गाई हेर्ने पालो
राधा पनि जान्छ्यौ कि गोठालो ?

कुनै आस्तिक प्रौढले सुनेजस्तो रहेन, यो भजन मेरा लागि । बैँसालु उत्सुकताले भर्खर-भर्खर प्रवेश गर्दै गर्दा सुनेको हुँ, पशुपति किराँतेश्वरको डाँडामा । मलाई त रुमानी प्रेमगीत लाग्यो त्यो पनि । डेटिङका लागि कुनै अमूक स्थानमा भेट्नका लागि समेत पनि एसएमएस गर्नुपर्ने आजका घुसघुसे प्रेमीहरूका लागि त ठाडो चुनौती थियो, त्यो । अव्यक्त प्रेमीका लागि ठूलै प्रेरणा । त्यस प्रेमगीतले गाई गोठालो जाँदाका मेरा किशोर रहस्यलाई उत्खनन गरिरहेजस्तो लाग्थ्यो । त्यो म बाँचेको समाजको प्रेमशास्त्र थियो, सायद ।

प्रेमको समाजशास्त्र

नयाँ पत्रिकाबाट प्रेमका बारेमा लेखिदिने अनुरोध कल रिसिभ गरेपछि झट्ट दिमागमा आएको पहिलो सन्दर्भ यसै नयाँ पत्रिकामा केही पहिले छापिएको शीर्षक थियो : यो छिपछिपे प्रेमको युग हो । (२००८—०७—१४, सोमबार) । मुलुकका अगुवा समाजशास्त्री चैतन्य मिश्रको अवलोकन थियो त्यो । अहिले प्रेमबारे लेख्नेहरूका लागि ‘पन्च लाइन’ ।

उनको हेराइमा ‘बजारको दबाब र सामाजिक संरचनाले प्रेमलाई गाढा बन्न दिँदैन । फास्टफुड प्रेम भनेको यही हो । यो कतिखेर सकिन्छ, थाहा हुँदैन । त्यसैले बिहान-बेलुकी पे्रमी-प्रेमिकाले भेट्नुपर्ने, एक-अर्काको तारिफ गरिरहनुपर्ने, उपहार दिइरहनुपर्ने भएको हो ।’

उफ ! प्रेमलाई जोगाइराख्न पनि यत्रो टन्टा । यो झमेला ! उनका अनुसार अहिलेको स्वतन्त्र पुस्ता प्रेममा पनि स्वतन्त्रता चाहन्छ । अर्थात् प्रेमको प्रकार समाजको अवस्थितिले निर्धारण गर्छ । हजुर, प्रेम देशकालअनुसारको हुन्छ, समय, स्थानसापेक्ष हुन्छ । प्रेमको रहर त शाश्वत होला, तर शैली र व्यवहार भने फरक हुन्छ ।

तर, उपभोक्तावादी पुँजीवादी चरित्र काठमाडौं, ठूला सहर हुँदै र सहरको सिको गर्दै गाउँ-गाउँ पसिरहेछ । गाउँका तरुनी-तन्नेरी सहरियाजस्तै बनेका छन् । अझ यसो भनौँ, गाउँकाले र सहरकाले देख्ने, सुन्ने, सिक्ने र भोग्ने कुरा उस्तै-उस्तै भइसके । समय र स्थानको भेदविहीन उत्तरआधुनिक चरित्र निर्माण भएको छ । सहर गाउँ पसेको छ । प्रेमको सहरिया शैली पनि गाउँ पसेको छ । सहर र गाउँको सीमा पातलिँदै गएको छ भन्ने थाहा पाउन तरुनी-तन्नेरीको व्यवहार र रहन-सहनको अध्ययनबाट पनि सकिन्छ । गाउँ-घरतिर जाँदा, बूढापाका त भन्ने गर्छन्, ‘गाउँ गाउँजस्तो कहाँ रह्यो र ? सब छाडा भइसके ।’ Continue reading →

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Love birds in cage

Avash Bhandari (24)Avash Bhandari

* (This essay was originally written on February 4, 2012 and most arguments advanced here based on my limited reading seem too naïve to me a year after. In spite of it I think this is worthy a piece to share with friends laugh at my past eccentricities.)

Valentine’s Day is arguably the most commercialized ritual in Kathmandu among the youths. On the account that it is devoid of any popular cultural roots whatsoever in this part of the world, it can also be called an event that sprang from the top (tuppa bata palaeko). Roles of post 1990 mass media and its counterpart neo-liberalism cannot be neglected for a “proper” and “pop” understanding of it. This writer knew about the existence of such a day from Nepal television and “pop songs” it broadcasted. “Love” was the privileged discourse in the private boarding school amongst those of us who grew up and grew old with the parliamentary multiparty democracy after the so called end of history and ideology in some part of the world. As we grew up we were educated more about “love” and Valentine’s Day (so difficult this word was to pronounce) but were we taught what really was or what actually sells?     .                      

History of “love”

“Love” or “exclusive love” as is popular today is a cultural by-product of capitalism. A clear difference can be deciphered in the pattern of relationships between men and women over the long period of humans’ social evolution.

When feudalism was the prevailing organizing principle and production mode, society revolved around caste, clan, and kinship and other forces of ascription. “Love” between individuals before marriage was therefore almost non existent. After marriage too, obligations and rituals governed conjugal relationship. As feudal society’s values emphasized honor and loyalty, relations between individuals were hardly “free” and at best women were men’s desirable object to “do love”. “Love” in feudal society could not originate without fertile ground for individualism. Continue reading →